dialogue to self about meds and life, i am HIV positive with Hep C

Saturday, June 28, 2003

need to run for the time. and hope to check back in soon.
as for myself. i feel fine. been going to an AIDS client meeting. today was my 2nd one. trying to get back into the community and give back, or give others my knowledge of the disease. it is a client members that use this one clinic in town. i think that the feds for the ryan white are trying to get all clinics that they fund into the habit of having clients involved. we give input to services offered, and other relivant input for the clinic. it is under new management. not bad. they are trying to get the time for doc visits down. so that is a big help. there is like some african american ladies running it and they take no shit. hoping that this attitude continues in them. there is a lot of APATHY in the AIDS world. this is the year that the advocates need to wake up and smell the pills burning.

as for me, well i am a big fan of U2 and REM. as well as dave mathews and others. they are my top bands. and i enjoy live music when the price is right.
new in my life.

it is now week #3 of my STI. and i could not be feeling better. i am now almost half way through my 2nd week of no drugs. still getting used to that. i have also added some weight training to my regiment. i give blood in a week and i will know my out come to my STI.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

not much happening here today. my wife is taking a nap and i am feeling some lonely. thought i would drop my blogger a line. i am now on day 4 of my HIV meds again. not too much different from when i was on them in the beginning. i have headaches and my face is withdrawn from the lipo, but other than that, i feel about the same. my wife seems to take naps more often now. she is losing the battle with her liver. in august 2001 she was told she has like 10 to 20% of her liver working, i think now it may be down to 10% or so. i am going to miss her when she leaves us. then there are days when i long to be by myself again. and carefree. but we have that same feeling once in awhile.

i am looking forward to giving my blood to see what is says about my STI. it will be drawn on the 7th of july, so stay tuned.

i have been with PC now for some time now, since working originally in the university setting. so i keep my font at lower case. if not i feel as if i am shouting at some one. lol. maybe i am shouting at the world to listen. this week is national HIV testing day, so if you are reading this, i hope you know your status. lastest stats say that 1 in 3 people do not know there status, so get checked it. my PSA for the day.

well gtg. peace and love to all. mike.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

today is the eve of my 9th wedding anniversary and and just wanted to check in with the world. i am HIV positive and just this past week i just started and STI in the AIDS world. That is a strategic treatment interruption. and my sis told me i should start a journal about my experience. so it being the 21st century i thought i would put this up on blogge. i have been positive for 9 years as well. same year we lost our brother to aids. i found out my status 3 weeks before he died. i was even told over the phone by my brother's doctor. since my wife was positive he assumed i would be one day or another. we had been together for over 16 months for anything to happen. so shit happens...i have just recently gotten mad at this doc and just came to want to write a letter to him...i don't think he would like it...so i leave him alone. i am sure he is still in the HIV community here locally. i then told my family of my status 2 years plus.. i seroconverted from my wife, not only got HIV, but my HEP C as well. i was sick for like a month and the docs could not find out what was wrong with me. went to hospital and then finally tested me for hep c and told me i was positive for that. it was like 2 weeks later that i got the call from the asshole doc. i did not want the family to go off on my wife. she is having liver problems now. and is more or less losing her battle with her liver, not the HIV. she is also taking inteferon, the pegasys stuff. once a week and the side effects are not that bad for her. i was on therapy for 12 months in 1996 and 97. my hep c went up and down. it even shot up 27 million.. so i went on therapy again in 2001 and sustain my hep c undetectable for 16 months straight. then hep c doc told me i could come off, with the possibilty of being cured. i like to think i am cured, but i think more or less i am in remission. he told me that there is 99.99% chance of it never coming back...

so here i am after 6 years of treatment. i was on crixivan and of course the usual 8 hours of your life was interrupted for a reminder that you had HIV. was working then also at a library in town and had the latest information about HIV and at that time, it was the mantra to hit early and hit hard. so i was on the cocktail. i have asked my doc about an STI ( i refuse to call it a drug holiday, since HIV is no holiday) and this had to be last year if not 2 years ago. and recently they think they have cured, or more or less my Hep C is in remission. it has been since may of 2002 that i had any intferon for my hep c and there is no sign of it in my blood. so that is like 13 months or so. and the doc told me this past week, since i am doing so well, would i like a STI. i was blown away. and so i thought i might start this on this past sunday, kinda keep things together with the week starting. she offered or suggested 1 month on and 1 month off. or the week on, and week off. so i took the week on and week off style of STI.

again, i was elated to give my body a break and thought what the hell. and started the STI last week. and now i am 1 week off and about to restart tomorrow. it has been kinda wild. past my pill box this past week and i was like, i have not taken todays pills. then it comes to me that i am off this week. it is still kinda sinking in.

i have been using a palm pilot and i have set the weekly alarm to go off to remind me to look for my drugs, or make sure that i am not taken them. it will be a challenge, but just like being 100% taking them all the time. it should be no different than keeping that regiment. stay tuned.

as mentioned early, today is my 9th wedding eve...and also the last day/nite i spent with my brother. i miss him so..i hope to keep his memory alive here on the web

i hope to check in weekly on here. my sis and family can read it from afar.

i hope you have enjoyed today sessions. thanks for reading me....