was at the fair this week, twice to entertain the misses. she likes the fleamarket crap. i just look at the other toothless, barefoot kentuckians and laugh. did get some free stickers from NASA. they had a booth there for the first time. i was thinkin, isn't that what state fairs are about. every body gets free stickers. also i think every state that has a state, it draws out the finest folks of the state. lol. notice how even New York, and California hates the small town, but if you went to their state fairs, you would see their own small towns. well i hope you get my point.

gtg. hope all is well for ya.

hello world. checking in for another day. we are doing alright. although the misses has been sleeping a lot lately. new drugs again. hopefully this too will pass. we are between automobiles, for the umpteenth time in our life. would give almost anything to have a reliable car. is that too much to ask for from this life. shit.

well almost football season, thank god.

wife is now asleep. she has been staying up for days on end it seems. they gave her some thing to ease her mind today. i am hoping it clears up her thoughts. she dwells on the past, badly. so you all out there in cyber space, remember, do not dwell on the past, especially if it hurts you. like the musical RENT, live with regret and you miss out. something like that.

well upgraded to XP with a new pc last month. i may have mentioned this already. i am diggin big time the online games. i am addicted to the spades game. just having some hard time getting intermediate players. should not be that hard. well gtg. p/l, capt out.

well i am back after some time away from here. my wife did get out of the hospital. we are not sure what is going with her now though. she is some times with us mentally and other days she is not. she has her moments. stay tuned. i am doing well. still on the interruption therapy for now. see doc on 12 of sept and will know more then. i am going to continue with the drug vacation for now. i am getting used to it.

and i am not an optimist. although slowly the word "hope" is coming more and more into my vocably. it is highly written about in the lord of the rings. maybe that is why i like them so much.


well i am done rambling for the nite. peace and love to all. capt.

but to see her respond like she has gives one hope. the day may come where she leaves the living. who knows. we are will meet that fate. i am reading a good book that my sister recommended. it is i "if i make it to five". about how adults can get inspiration from the kids of this world. it is written by a doc who deals with kids and their brain tumors. not much joy could be found in that line of work. but the book is just the opposite. i highly recommend. i do not have kids, but i am drawing it for inspiration for my dealings with my wife.


i am lucky enough to have a wife who loves me unconditionally. she thanked me tonite, like thank you for being there. it is nothing short of what she would be doing for me, if the roles were reversed. i hope to think that all spouses would do the same.

todays reflections

well about this time ealier yesterday i was thinking that my wife might never come home. well today it is a new story. our doc gave her something yesterday in the late a.m. and she was about normal last nite we i went into see her. yesterday afternoon i was lowering the a snakes belly. it was bad. the doc came in today and even she was blown away by her condition. rebound i should say. to experience the worse and expect, when just the opposite happens is overwhelming. as i left today she was up beat and pretty much able to hold a conversation. yesterday a.m. and friday nite was a disaster. the great doc gave her 1 drug and she was able to bounce back with that. we guess that it will now be part of her daily regiment. she is such a miracle. although myself i do not beleive in miracles or prayers. what will be will be....

more news from the front

well my wife has taken a turn for the worse, i feel. it as if she might have had a stroke this week, or something. i do not think it is due to her ammonia levels. today she was just rambling on about her life in new york, and not making any sense. i have the word i was thinking about for the people in the ER. they have the look of despair on their faces. we all do. i have been to the edge and looked over. and it is no fun.

more news at another time. p/l, capt.