hello world. again it has been about 2 weeks since i have been on here.. well i had a good xmas...got some cards in the mail this year and got some back as well. it was nice to hear from my peps up north. went to pasco county to see mum and sis and nieces for the day. sis down here was up in asheville so i was running the office...or should say i have been running the office. i was busy last week...but today there was no phone calls at all...it was dead. i left about 1pm or so..

well my next adventure is this weekend. here i was last week with nothing on the calendar for the next year. well i get this email note from the alumni chapter down here in tampa. well it seems that there are some louisville based businesses that have bought up chunks of seats for the gator bowl. all we have to do is ask for them and they are free. i was like well i can not make it there...then later in the day i was like...what the hell. it is only a 4 hour drive. so i sent an email and sure enough i got 2 tickets waiting for me....damn nice. i am off to jacksonville for the new years and the game is on the 2 of jan. man i must be living right or something. it ought to be nice....so i leave this saturday and will report on this next week. i promise.

other than that..i am fine. kinda of bored with life...but maybe that will change soon. went out this weekend and just was tired of being out with myself...so i came home early....both nites.

but life does go on...until next time....much peace and love...me

i had not realized i have been away for about a month now. not good. i will try to do more in the future....i am doing well. working hard. i will be working a lot over the upcoming xmas break. boss and sis are out of town so i will be in charge...shortly. that is.

i have seen my doctor in the mean time. my tcells went up to 276 from like 201. so they did not go up too far. or as far as i would have liked. i have been this alternative stuff now for like 3 months and i am not sure it is doing anything for me. there are others in the program that have had a big increase in their tcells. i will stay on it and see what happens. my viral load is still undetectable. so that is good. i am doing the one week on drugs and one week off drugs. the doc does not know about it. i feeling mostly well these days. another holiday without my zoe, but i am managing. still no one in my life....but i am alright with that. i can still watch football in my underwear...lol. not that i do that often...if ever.


i have adopted 2 cats or kittens i should say. 1 girl and 1 boy. they are named of course...frodo and sam...with the girl being sam for samatha....i like them and they seem to like me. how can they not...lol.

been doing a lot of soul searching lately. i am not sure if that is good or not. i spend a lot of time alone....so i think a lot. there is nothing to report though. in case you were waiting for some earth shattering news....lol.


well more about U2. since this was the first show that i had to pay for. let me tell you the stories behind each one..

the first show...was in 1988 or 89. their joshua tree tour. this girl i had just started to date, had another date with some one else on friday nite of that weekend. so i was like ok go and see...not really i was a little po'ed. but i got over it. well she was a party with this dude and was in the restroom where this girl had U2 tix she had won from the radio. bingo...miss B got them and called me the next day...saying we were off to see U2 the very next day...real cool. and it was a great show.

so then in may 97 or 98, zoe and i had bought tix. we were going to see there no matter what the costs. so we got our tix and they were for a show in columbus, oh at the state university football stadium....a huge place. the horsehoe for those football fans...well since the show was in columbus i did not know how long it would take to drive up there...so we left kinda early for a 730pm show. we left at 1pm and it only took about 3 hours from louisyville. so we got in town early. needless to say. where we had picked up a radio station in town before we got there. and the station said "finds us in the parking lot and we will bump up your seats for the show." we were like hell yeah. we knew we had nosebleed seats in the way back....so sure enough we found the station. we thought we might exchange our seats for theirs, but they were like you all came up here from louisville....here are 2 tickets. and they did not take ours...cool. so we were able to turn around and sell our tix before the show. no chit. so this past concert was the first U2 show i had to pay for. and let me tell you that i did try to win tix at 2 different events. but that is for another blog. at the ohio show we were able to leave the show and come back. we went out and got high....there was a lot of security around in the show...so we did not feel right about it.

again another story. me and zoe had some great times together...there is also the time she won $6000 on a scratch off ticket in louisville. no chit again. i will blog that down next time or real soon in the future.

i love you zoe and miss you and to all those others folks out there...well more peace and love to you all. capt. cosmos...


get busy living....or get busy dying...

hullo world. well i have been to lousyville and back. and it went real well. i had a great time. went to the track...churchill that is. then on the same day went to see the cardinals play. life does not get any better. i even cashed in an box exacta ticket...yippee. first time for that. it was nice to see some old friends...and of course...there was not time to see everyone that i had planned... maybe next time.. which should be next summer. i have a niece that is graduating high school and will be taking her up for a visit. i think.

well again i also saw U2 last nite. i must be living right or something. it was an awesome show as only U2 can do. it was a blast. they even played a song that me and zoe danced to at our wedding..."For the first time".. it brought tears to my eyes. i had her on my mind a lot also. the last time i saw U2 was with her. so now i am having to see shows with out her. just one more thang to go through with out her. and it has been 2 years now. i was able to take come flowers out to her when i was there in lousyville. it was nice, at least therapuetic. i do miss her so.

but i am doing alright over all. not much else is happening. after U2 last nite i have nothing on the agenda for the foreseeable future. just hang out and work. try to save some money for sure.


well peace and love to all. capt.

hello world. well lets see where was i last time i was on here....i have been to treasure island and met some nice people but no special lady friend. oohwelll......i am then going to lousyville this week. it is zoe's anniversary. she has now been gone for 2 years. seems like yesterday... i read my blog and it helps me see that i was aware of the situation when it was happening. i am going to paid her a visit on sunday. her actual date. also a very close friend of mine is turning 40 up there in corydon. so she is having a big old party.... yipppeee.


i gave blood on halloween...it seemed only like the thing to do. i also went as a devil in blue dress for halloween. i was kinda of drag. just no tittys. i did not go that far...i did paint my face red....

some liked it. it took about 2 days it to wear all the way off.


i have had no more cheek injections since my first time. i am going to get it done again i think later this month.

i will at least check in to tell you all my blood count. i think i do not see any doctors until next month. they usually give me counts then. i know my hep c is gone for good. i am also on a lot of vitamins and other pharma products from the healthy PWA meetings. they have been nice meetings. you get to see others and then also the nutrional stuff they give us.


also U2 is in about 2 weeks. less then that really. i week from wednesday. i am going out tomorrow to see if i can win some from a radio station down here....be there


well, i am rambling on....not much to report. much peace and love to all. captcosmos

hello, been a little bit since i have been on here. not much is new. i am sitting here watching the show and series cosmos...my favorite series. my dad and i would watch this and compare notes on it the next day. they have remastered it for the digital age. and did you know that carl sagan was a pot head. just something i thought i would share. i am not doing much. waiting for yet another hurricane...maybe this weekend. wait and see...other than that, i am off to treasure island next week for the get together. hope something comes of it. i almost went to see this woman in pompano beach, but decided to wait and see what next week brings. and i am going to louisville next month as well....so i need to watch the money flow.


i am feeling alright. been doing this cleansing solution for your liver and takin this liquid miracle stuff. i give blood next week. i will report back. this lady in pompano was positive as well. we met on poz.com.

watched the movie million dollar baby tonite.. another reminder of zoe. how she dies at the end. well i do miss her. my heart is getting better and stronger each day.

what else is happening, well we are still kind of slow at work. but it should pick up soon.

my power supply went out today on my pc. i went to sleep, or took a nap and was wondering what could be wrong with my machine and when i awoke it dawned on me, that the power supply was bad. replaced it and wam here i am...

well the little russian girl wants to come and see me, she saids. she has asked for money now to help her get her. not sure i believe her or not. i am not sending any money...not yet anyway....lol.

well much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.
cya 1 ho.

hello world. checking in from sunday afternoon, spent watching the bucs lose thier first game of the year. i am not too bad. my older sis was in town visiting this weekend. we had a wild time to say the least. went to ladies nite on thursday and then down into sarasota on friday nite. stayed home on sat. nite. i am feeling some what well. i have restarted the meds, again. i may have mentioned this or not. i started on august 8th. i am doing the 1 week on/1 week off. my docs don't like that...but we will see how it goes. i am on this new 1 pill drug. it has viread and 3tc together. kinda strong for the 3tc. i was on the 150mg when i started the week on/week off routine. i also started this alternative meds. it is like a liver cleaner and it helps with your GI tract as well. it is a powder that does not taste good, but i mix with my metamucil (sp). it is not too bad. and then this is this other liquid that has the flow of 10W40 motor oil. it is phasfolin. it is like major extra new cells. it helps with all sorts of stuff for your body. it is major shit. i am looking forward to my next blood count. i missed it last week, so i need to call them this week and set up another blood time. it is weird down here, they have you set up an appointment to give blood. whatever. i am also on this high bloodpressure meds. not sure what is up with that. i have not taken my BP any time as of late.

still single...still looking...lol. i am off to treaure island for a retreat this month. i hope. i need to make some sales though. the weather down here has been dry. september was the driest september since 1912. and then hopefully get some snow birds down here within the next month. that will help. i am making it though.


i am also scheduled to coming up to lousyville next month, for zoe anniversary. i plan to be there for that. i am coming in on a thursday nite and there is a cardinal game friday nite. so i will be there for that. for sure. then my dear friend miss t. is turning 40 and she is having a big old party. so that should be fun..

well gtg. peace and love to all. capt. vernon.

happy monday to all. well it was a shitty weekend for football. at least on cardinal planet. it was a quite shitty that they did not even show up to play. they did not take south fl. serious. it was ugly.

well my new cheeks have gone down a little bit. it is still better than where i was. so i am looking forward to getting the other treatments. just wished you did not have to wait 6 weeks between treatments. but the time will go by quick enough.

got a lot on my calendar in the next couple of months. next month going to spend the weekend at treasure island. there is a gathering of positive people. with any luck i might even meet some one. lol.

then in november i will be in lousyville for zoe's anniversary. hard to believe she has been gone now for 2 years, or will be then. i still miss her, and i still spend a lot of time alone. but i am getting on with life. what else is there to do, right?

i have not talked to miss 1 ho in awhile either. she is having a rough time as of late. i do hope that she finds peace one day.

as for me, well i am doing alright. did the st. pete aids walk on saturday. it was nice to get out and meet some people. well my chicken is on the grill. gotta go. peace and love to all. capt. vernon.

well i am back. i am sitting here getting ready for another thurday nite ladies nite at the distillery. i did see the doctor yesterday. my tcells only went up like 22 points. they are now at 223, but my viral load went undetectable and that is only after3 weeks of being back on treatment. i saw a different doc yesterday. what is that like 3 docs in 3 months. not good. but yesterday this was another lady doc, so that was ok. you know me and the lady docs get along much better. or something. my hep c viral load is still undetectable. and that has been since may 7, 2001 since i last had my interferon in me. so that virus is no doubt gone from my system. only about 40 % of hivers with hep c are able to clear the virus from thier system. 1 of the lucky ones, i guess. it is nice to know. my first doc down here would not draw that test, she would say, "well we are not going to treat it, if it comes back positive". so i had another doc draw for that test. i will my doc in KY know about this test. yippee.

on other news...well get this....i had my first injection in my cheeks this week. i had some plastic surgery, you could say. there is this poly l lactic something that they inject into your cheeks, for people with sunken cheeks like me. it is called facial lipoatrophy. so i had this done on tuesday nite. you have to have like 2 to 4 treatment sessions, depending how bad your cheeks look. i am going to have 4 treatments. and you have to wait like 6 weeks between treatments. so mine will go into something like next march or so until i am done. but then the results last about 2 to 3 years. i am pysch. i almost don't look sick any more. the first treatment will not really hold, you might look good for like 4 days, but it goes back down. so i am expecting that. but if the end results look like me now...then look out world. again....something for me. i am trying to do things for myself in my new life down in florida.


well again i hope this finds every one doing well up north. i am going to plan on being in town for november 13th weekend. that would be zoe anniversary, so i think i need to be there this year. also there is this other person who is turning 40 up there and she would like for me to be in town. so i am going to recycle on my 40th bday crap. lol.

well much peace and love to all.capt. vernon.

well i am back. been some time since i was on here. where to begin at. last week i was up in asheville, NC. helping my sis and bro in law move. they are moving up there for good next june. after the school year. i had a good time up there. ought to be a nice town for them. i look forward to visiting them there. lots of stuff to do. i went out for about 3 hours in the blue ridge mountains. did some hiking and drove on the blue ridge parkway. really really nice. then next summer will do some white water rafting up there. that ought to be fun.

you might be wondering what will happen to the business that i am working at. i may have mentioned this already, but he is going to put me in charge of running the business. yippee. they were going to sell it, and they still might, but there are more benefits for them, if they keep it up and running. which i hope i can do....i know i can. and there is going to be more money in it for me....again yippeee....

as for my health. well they have scheduled me again for another doctor. in the last 3 visits to the clinic i have seen 3 different doctors. irks the hell outta of me. but i do get my bloodwork back next time. i see a doctor this week, so i will get back on here and tell ya about the latest counts.


as for other news, well the country i am convinced is going to hell in a hand basket. there was this outrage about bush not responding to katrina and his crony that was in charge of FEMA. well that bonehead got there when the confirmation committee accepted bush's nominee. they all voted for him. so congress should be somewhat to blame as well. george w does not know how to govern and the rest of the country put him in there for another 4 years. GOD is there no common sense in the frickin country any more. we need a regime change here at home. please help the red cross or any other charity for the folks in gulf area.


well enough from me. i was glad i got to see new orleans this year. i plan on going back next spring for the jazz fest, if they have it.

i have been quite busy this summer. lets see i went to new orleans, twice in may, in lousyville in july and then the keys in august and now asheville in september. i have decided to go back to lousyville for a visit. i will be up there for zoe's anniversary in november. stay tuned...


well much peace and love to all out there..today i am hosting a positive connection day out for socializing. we are going to be bowling. my idea. will let you all know how it turns out.

for now peace out....rev. vernon.

well i am back. been some time since i was on here. where to begin at. last week i was up in asheville, NC. helping my sis and bro in law move. they are moving up there for good next june. after the school year. i had a good time up there. ought to be a nice town for them. i look forward to visiting them there. lots of stuff to do. i went out for about 3 hours in the blue ridge mountains. did some hiking and drove on the blue ridge parkway. really really nice. then next summer will do some white water rafting up there. that ought to be fun.

you might be wondering what will happen to the business that i am working at. i may have mentioned this already, but he is going to put me in charge of running the business. yippee. they were going to sell it, and they still might, but there are more benefits for them, if they keep it up and running. which i hope i can do....i know i can. and there is going to be more money in it for me....again yippeee....

as for my health. well they have scheduled me again for another doctor. in the last 3 visits to the clinic i have seen 3 different doctors. irks the hell outta of me. but i do get my bloodwork back next time. i see a doctor this week, so i will get back on here and tell ya about the latest counts.


as for other news, well the country i am convinced is going to hell in a hand basket. there was this outrage about bush not responding to katrina and his crony that was in charge of FEMA. well that bonehead got there when the confirmation committee accepted bush's nominee. they all voted for him. so congress should be somewhat to blame as well. george w does not know how to govern and the rest of the country put him in there for another 4 years. GOD is there no common sense in the frickin country any more. we need a regime change here at home. please help the red cross or any other charity for the folks in gulf area.


well enough from me. i was glad i got to see new orleans this year. i plan on going back next spring for the jazz fest, if they have it.

i have been quite busy this summer. lets see i went to new orleans, twice in may, in lousyville in july and then the keys in august and now asheville in september. i have decided to go back to lousyville for a visit. i will be up there for zoe's anniversary in november. stay tuned...


well much peace and love to all out there..today i am hosting a positive connection day out for socializing. we are going to be bowling. my idea. will let you all know how it turns out.

for now peace out....rev. vernon.

well not much happening here. i wanted to let you all know that i am doing better. i am like they say, getting stronger with each passing day. for some reason or another, i was kinda blue last week. not sure why. besides i hate the month of august. i got sick in august of 94. so this month always has sucked.

as for other news. well i have been on the yahoo singles, off and on since january. with little success. and i have had like 4 or5 russian women contact me. now it always got down to me asking them, if they are serious about coming to america. and then i ask if they need money. i am no dummy and would never send any money over there. well the latest young lady who has contacted me is also very pretty like they all have been. i always picture some hairyfat russian man on the other end. well like i said this latest is very nice looking. and she even called the house on friday. kind of blew me away. i got home to that message on friday. kind of made my day. this is one guy who would go for a russian mail order bride. not that i like the notion of going shopping for women like they are merchandise, i don't agree with that, but we met through the personals. so any way. i will keep everyone abreast of details.


much peace and love, capt. cos. xxx

well i am back for another hurricane weekend. lol. i am doing not too bad. looking for some body who likes nascar and fatness. lol. my new little saying is pww. for pasty white women. pww. i know i am going to hell already. i say to myself in my head, another PWW. or NCWW. and that is nascar, christian, white woman. so i dont like those either. NCWW. when will i learn.

other than that. i am doing alright. wuz hoping that katrina would give us some business. but she looks like she will make landfall in the panhandle. again mikey loses. meaning i will have to work tomorrow. some folks were out tonight like they were in for a snow storm tomorrow and that work would be called off. like me. lol. no luck. just like the snow storms up north, this storm missed bradenton and will cause trouble elsewhere. such is life. i am home at least from another ladies nite and going to bed with katrina just off shore and looking to make landfall in the handle area. i hope it stays that way over nite.

much peace and love to all. capt. cosmos..

well hello world. i am off to the keys this weekend. yippeee.. things are not too bad. i am going down with the group that i went with to new orleans, so maybe keep your fingers crossed. i picked up some scuba gear this weekend, so i am going to be doing some diving, at least some snorkeling this weekend.


not much else is happening. we are slow at work...but life is good.

peace and love to all. capt. vernon.

another thursday nite @ the club. i am sweating like i am in heat. nice dance nite. and i shot pool, not soo bad. i made it home by 1230am and ready for another day of selling roofs. i am off to the keys next week. i can not wait. i think, that 1 could lose themselves at the keys, at least that is what i hear.....first timer for me. me and bryan went down to key largo in 1991, but we only stayed 1 day. probably due to me with no money.. different story these days....here is hoping that i make it home with a mermaid. wouldn't that be nice for me....well peace and love to all....i am still rockin on thursday nite...hello sally @ uofl. hope you see this and smile. called you lately, but no answer. come on down on labor day weekend. we are having an orgy....lol. not really but i am going alone for the keys. no baggage....lol... still love ya, call me.... rev. vernon and capt. cosmos both signing off.

p/l

well i started this blog with the news that i was going to be on structured treatment interuption. well today marks the day that i am going to start taking drugs full time. that is my hiv drugs. starting with a new 1 today and there was no bad side effects, so far. i made it through the day. and not much else has changed. i am still working out at the gym...still eating dinner alone at home. lol. work is not too bad. my tcells at last count was 201 and my viral load is at 5432 or something like that. i saw the man doctor last time...not good. this doc does not know me and talks at me...not with me. i will never see him again...that is for sure. i just do not like him. then he cuts my sleep drugs in 1/2 for nigth sleep. he did not ask me how i am sleeping....no talk about it either. i was really upset about seeing a different doctor. i felt that they (the clinic) is fucking with my life that way. i do not like it...and will hopefully not see him again..


i have not heard from any one up north. especially miss 1 ho. she called once, but honestly i did not pick it up. i do not like confrontation and try to avoid all that shit. life is too short to stay angry or upset with any one person in this life.

well much peace and love to all who may read these pages....rev. vernon.

well the capt has been found. i am doing alright. sorry i have not been on here for a very long time. i am currently staying at my sisters house and watching my niece. she is about to turn 18 in 2 weeks. so she don't need much watching. lol. her friends on the other hand....lol....

my counts as of late. well here they are on july 2 i gave blood, i think or that was the last time on the counts i saw. my tcells are 201, 1 above being AIDS classified. whoopy... my viral load is only at 5435. something like that. i have been off meds since last october, so i think that is a very good thing to have. i was kinda glad to see those numbers. i saw them while at my counselor appt. i also gave my counselor her walking papers. i told her that i can now see life with out her... and i am doing alright. if we are ever doing alright in this life.


i have been selling my ass off. this past week i sold this big ol commercial jobs. it was sweet. big pay day next week....i should get the girl...lol.

no one in my life at this point. i am going to the keys next month for a 4 day weekend. with the same group from new orleans. maybe not the same people, just the same ASO... i am also in the beginning stages of getting a chapter of that group established here in Tampa bay area. we are possitiveconnections.org Tampa bay area. we have social every month that includes doing a social in one of the 7 counties in this area.


well football is about to start. and that always bring this area to it's feet. and the cards are playing down here this september. they play USF on the 24th. yippeee. can not wait to be in that crowd with all RED on...lol. hopefully all predictions will come true for the cards in both football and basketball this year. it is an exciting time to be a cardinal fan. i am sure i would stay drunk most of the year, were i in town. makes missing lousyville that much better.

also bad time to be in the nasa business. as you mite be ab le to tell that i am a big space fan, from the name. i am sadden that the shuttle era is at en end. i was there in the beginning. remember that the launches were as exciting as the apollo launches. but it is, i feel, well past the time that we should have another plan. we need to continue to put man in space. and we will. i hope.. .... i would love to be launched into space. but my stomach would not handle it.

well i have yak enough for now. i hope to be on here again this week. i see the real doctor on tuesday and will have a better handle on what is happening to me. i mite or mite not begin meds again. stay tuned. much love and peace to all. rev. vern.

hello 1 ho. call me if you read this...i still love you and miss you...another heartbreak in lousyville...p/l

well it has been way too long since i have been on here. here is an update from the road. i just got back this past wednesday night from louisville. i took my niece there for her graduating high school. she graduated a year early due to her smartness. we had a good time. it is always good to be in louisville. did not get to see several people. there is just not enough time. i might be going back next month. who knows. i got all my shit out of storage and i continue to go through the huge pile of memories. i might have to put some in storage down here after all. i was trying to avoid doing that down here at least. life is not too bad. i had my moments and still do going through the pics mostly. i got all my big framed art on the wall. was not sure i had the room for it. but it worked out.


as for my health, well i am still not taking any meds. my doc took blood last month and i see her on 25th of this month. they did a genotype test on my virus and it turns out that my virus is still sensitve to all the meds on the market. my doc was a little shocked at this, since i have been doing what i have been since last october.

i feel fine and will have to change my ways soon when i start the meds. i am sure i will begin them again this month.

then i have a friend from POZ moving to gainesville next week. i might go up there for a night or so. i have never been to gainesville. it is the home of the gators, for those who did not know. also the cards play south florida down here this fall. like in 2 months or so. i can not wait for that. i see big dave again next thursday. i will enjoy that, of course.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well it has been like 2 weeks since i have been on here. not much is happening. i see doc next week on the 28th, still off meds...will see what she says next week. then i am off to lousyville next thursday to get my shit out of storage finally. i am taking my niece up there with me. we will have a great time. and see some of the fine folks that are still living there.

it is the rainy season down here and you can set your watch by it. also my friends are here from lousyville and we are off to deep sea fishing next week. i think. if i can stomach it. i am a major chummer when i get out on the water.

well today val was in the paper. she is way too beautiful. wish she would look my way. well i am not giving up. she was interviewed for HIV testing day. that day is on monday, so get the test and know your results. not much else is happening. i am making it down here and seem to be a little more at ease with living down here. i have my routine. i go to work then off to the gym and this being thursday that can only mean 1 thing. ladies night. so i will be going out tonight to do some dancing.

well much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

i did not realize i have been off of here for about 2 weeks now. well not much to report on down here. i almost went back on therapy this week. but changed my mind to until i see my regular doctor. she has me giving blood this month and then seeing her next month, late. i got into the home delivery of meds for persons like me on disability. and they delivered them last night out of the blue. but they were prescribed by another doc i saw breifly when my voice was not working. i think i mentioned this or so. well i thought that i will continue to see my female doc. doc sue. i feel fine and did not want to start chemo at this point in time. so i am going to see what my blood says and see what she has to say. i my lactic acidosis levels were still a little elevated. something the male doc did not take into account, i think. they were at 14mm last time, but this time they went up to 16mm and that is off therapy. so i do not want to pollute my body just yet.

today i am off to meet with the local yahoo singles group. we are meeting to play some pool here. first time i have made contact with them, or met them out. nice day, kinda windy due to hurricane that was out in the gulf. we just got a lot of rain. good for the roofing business though.

other than that...my best of bestest friend is coming into town next weekend. so i will have some to hang out with. no way...how will i act....lol

well i can not wait, we will have some fun at seista key.

much peace and love to all out there. capt. vernon signing.

hey i am back from new orleans again. had a wonderful time and met some wonderful people. i hope to be life long friends of these people. they were really nice and it was another thing to be in company of people who are going through the same thing as me. i am so used to being the token hetero in a group setting. to be in a setting where everyone was positive and hetero. it was just really nice experience.

on the other hand. i am supposed to be starting therapy soon. but the delivery service told me today that they are just planning on submitting my application today. i thought for sure that they would have done that since i was away. i had the visit from the delivery person last week. and today i talked to him and he mentions that they are just today submitting my app. i just think that is more BS from the system down here in FL. stay tuned. i was tired last night and came home a day earlier than plan. but it was raining and nasty in new orleans for monday. and i went back to work today, so it is all good.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon. captcosmos

night before new orleans again. i hope i behave myself. i am sure i will. i will be in mixed company, so i think i know how to handle myself. i am really looking forward to it. going to the art musuem first tomorrw. i get in too early to get into my room. i get in like 730am, but this is only at the airport.

anyway not too much else happening.

i think 1 ho is mad at me or so. i sent her a package and again i expressed my feelings.

no response.

peace and love to all. rev.vernon.

today i am writing with out the splint on my finger and it does not hurt that bad. real quick note to say or tell everyone that i got some blood work back tonite at my counselor appt. the geno type testing on my virus showed that my virus is still reactive to all types of meds on the market. i have been off therapy now since last october, 2004. and now it is may, or the bloodwork as dated may4, 2005. so that is good news. my virus is not a mutant. so far.

more blood results tomorrow. also see the finger doc. maybe he will tell me i am ok to take the splint off.

until then. peace and love to all. rev. vernon

me again. i am not getting ready to go out for ladies nite. so it must be thursday the 19th. next week i am off to see the hiv doc as well as the hand doc. hopefully i can take my splint. then i am going to new orleans again. this time for a 5 day weekend. lol.. love it.

i am not doing too bad. had some shingle leads this week, but no one signed. so oohwelll.


the weather down here is already hot like summer. they haved warned everyone about how gators are going matin this month, or starts it for the gators. so you mite see one whereever you are. lol. think about that miss 1 ho. lol. hey up there....

i see where the beatle party is this weekend i mean next weekend in lousyville. just when i move they bring in the beatles fair. well i will have to make the trip next year for it.

i am off to do some dancing again. maybe not too much. peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

1 week has past since my last post on here. what has been happening. well tomorrow nite i get to read my poem for zoe out loud to a group that is gathering for an AIDS poetry slam. i am kinda excited about it. will be interesting. my first open discussion down here about the A subject. i will let you all know how it goes.


as for me. well i still miss my girl. with the poem and all she has been on my mind. a lot lately, for some reason or naught.

and my finger is still broken, so typing is a drag. ....

did some betting over the weekend. i went to the track down here. what a world of difference from churchhill. for starters, the parking was FREE. dig it.

and i even won some races. only on the track up north, thou. i could not cash a ticket on the local track. nothing. but i had a good time. must be the angels up north that helped me get those horses. i went strictly with the name on them. and cashed a ticket all 3 races i was there.

then i am going back to new orleans for memorial day weekend.. going to be exciting. hopefully i will come back with my voice. lol. it is a bitch typing with my finger, ugh.

much pain.

well love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

xxxxoooo

i went to the doctor aboutmy voice, was hoping that it was not due to thrush or something. well it was a new doc, at least to me he was. and he took some blood and even did a genotype test on me. will let you all know what it comes back as.

he was concerned that i was not on meds right now. he said i should be back on them within a month, if not sooner.

well be good to each other. peace. rev. miquel.

still me. i am watching u2 concert from slane castle. so i need to get myself out of this stuck in a moment period. i am definelty going to watch my drinking when i go back to new orleans. i even got on 2 different stages to dance for the crowd. there was not a man in the place that could touch my moves. lol.

well i am off again. much peace and love to all out there. rev. miquel.

p.s. happy derby week.

made it back from new orleans. but my voice didn't. lol. you know that is a major sign of me having a good time. when i lose my voice. so i am not working much this week. trying to get it back. then when you do talk people ask me what? all the time. so i have to repeat myself.

well about the trip. we had a great time. saw dave matthews band in the rain again. have not seen dave with out the rain. well just my luck. we had fun anyway. spent like 100 dollars on rain gear, then it clears up. lol. truly.

well i am still nursing my little finger. not sure i mentioned it or not. but i broke it at the ultimate tournament. been like 2 weeks now.

i miss my zoe at new orleans. i was aware of her being gone. i almost felt guilty for having fun with out her. i am stuck in a moment as U2 would say.

i entered her poem into a poetry slam down here for AIDS and i am finalist. damn cool. going to keep her legacy going. i am going to take her book with her picture. hope i can make it through it. i think i can. since i gave a speech in her honor like 2 weeks after her funeral.


i have not seen my counselor again for like 3 weeks. i think i can tell. with my voice out and no one to talk too. not that they could hear me anyway, but i am almost a mute. my own isolated island. well better publish this before i lose it.

dear miss 1 HO. please marry me. maybe 1 day???????? please ..? soon to be the owner of a growing roofing biz in west central florida......miquel gomez

i've watched the children come and go....and by




i will try to sing a happy song, i will to make a happy game to play...


come and tell me what it is like to go outside,.... i have never been and i am not supposed like thiss.....but it is okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy


rev.vern.

well hello world. i am back with broken small finger and all. i am having to put the splint on after i shower. makes life interesting to say the least. trying not to use it much. lol. it has been little under 1 week and i have to keep it on for 4 weeks. ugh. the penalty for playing hard. i did recently get a new pc desk and also kitchen table. they both kinda match by being with glass top and like off grey base metal on both of them. still getting used to the fact that if i like something, i do not need to get approval of any one to bring it home. lol. i am off to new orleans this week. yippee. ican not wait. my sis and i are leaving this thursday thru monday. we are going for the jazz fest, but may only see that 1 day. we are going to have a great time first. big dave matthews is playing this saturday why we are there. so i know we are going to see him.

well my finger it is a hurtin

much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello all. this week i saw my doctor and she told me that if and when we restart therapy it will be some totally different. so we will see. i hate to think of getting back on that chemo train with drugs. anyway also this week i got my finger x-rayed and sure enough it is broken. i have this splint that i wear all day and nite. supposed to be on for like 4 fuckin weeks. ugh. no one at home to help with the task of getting it back on after i shower. so i wont be showering for 4 weeks. lol. and next week we are off to new orleans. and that will be great. going to the jazz fest down there, or up there as i am in florida.

then i am going back in may for memorial day weekend. i am going with a group of hetero positive. and there is only 2 men going. me being one of the 2. like those odds.


well i spent 4 hours in the ER for my finger yesterday. it was kinda hard when i left there. it hit me like a ton of bricks, thinking about the hours me and zoe spent at the ER. it was a different experience for sure. when they ask who to call in case of an emergency, i say call a doctor. lol. then i have no one to tell them. but i put my sis shelly down for contact. she acquired an older son when i moved down here.

well peace and love to all. rev.vern.

tonite i saw green day with my niece. we had a great time and she met some hot boyz. lol. we had a good time over all. she even did sum crowd surfing, much to my shagrine. but we both survive. and then i got home and was able to open the line of comm. to miss 1 ho. i am so happy about that. i really fucked thangs up last week. i did.....enuf said. feeling that we can get thru this. invited a stranger to go with me to see Dave again in july. i will keep my fingers crossed about that. much peace and love to all. my little finger is fucked, so it hurts to type. i am doing alrite. it is hard to beleive that i was so low last year that i wanted to snuff myself out. glad that plan did not go thru. peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

went down to catch the sunset tonite. it was the first time this season to see it once the clock has been set back. so now i have time to come and have some dinner and then go to the beach. tonite it went behind some clouds on the far horizon. of course. then went into the office for about 2 hours or so. lots and lots of paperwork. buried in it.

well love to all. miquel gomez

well hello world. not much more happening here. 1 ho came and went. it was a rocky end to a wonderful week. it was just kinda hectic to say the least. we enjoyed each others' company. but nothing happening, romantically there.

i did get interviewed for a POZ article, but i mite end up on the editing floor. we will see about that. i sent the reporter a link to my blog, maybe i can still get my book published with the story of zoe. hoping to be some inspiration to others in life. i have been through hell the last 2 years, but i am almost at the end of the darkness. still some more work to do. with my anniversary for my suicide attempt coming up next month. i year out and i feel i am at a much better place than before.

i am still going to the gym and working out with the weights. as i mentioned before or not, i go the gym and make love to the weights. lol.

gtg for now. i will be back soon. i hope all is well where this finds you. much peace and love, rev. vernon.

well where to begin with. i have been off of here for some time. i am doing well. i am working hard. and the big news, well let me see. my friend 1 ho came in town. she is actually still here. yippee. i will finally have a lady to take to lady nights on thursday night. if i can talk her into going. then i am off to new orleans this month for the jazz fest. and dave mathews will be playing that saturday night. fabulous. then i got tickets for green day next monday on the 18th and i got my ticket foir U2 in novmeber and also got tickets to dave matthews in tampa. i am going to be busy. planning on going back to new orleans next month with this group from miami. a hetero group has it's retreat in new orleans. so i signed up to go. i can not wait. going this month with my sister. and that too will be fun.

selling some roofs, but never enough.

then i get to be interviewed in POZ tomorrow for an upcoming article about treatment interruptions. soon be starting my autobiography. lol.

stay tuned. i promise to be back here soon. not going to make it back to louisville for derby this year. maybe next year.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello world. i am sitting here on sunday afternoon getting ready to go and watch the cards play bball. love this time of year. and i can only hope that cards win today. that would be nice. nice weather down here. sunshine and about 75 degrees. love it. i did not do much this weekend. stayed home sat. nite and watched bball all day. i did go out friday nite and shot some pool. still no love interest yet. not really worried about that now. thinking it would crimp my style if i got involved with anybody. i am doing well. today would have been mine and zoe's anniversary of the day we got together. it would have been 12 years today. seems like another life time ago. i did have a very nice close friend put some flowers down for her yesterday. yesterday would have been her bday. she would have been 37 yesterday. still not a day goes by that i do not think of her. i put some flowers into the ocean down here for her. but that hole in my heart is slowing closing up, or it getting easier to live with it. i still miss her and will always have her in my heart.

well peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

well here i am again. i had not too bad of a weekend. went out and drank friday nite and then i stayed home saturday nite, but went to the drum circle on sunday nite. not much else is going on. i highly recommend that everyone go out to dinner by themselves. and go to a busy place, like the outback. like i did this past friday nite. i had a good meal and of course i am used to be alone. so no big deal. you call a head for seating and they ask how many in your party? party of 1, please. lol. best story about going out alone is when i went to cracker barrel on sunday morning. i know busy as shit. well they sat me in the biggest room they had, then they proceeded to seat me in the middle of the damn room!!! well guess what lived. and i suggest everyone do this at least once in thier life. then you will think better of it when you curse at your kids or husband/wife when they are on your nerves. the world would be such a better place. and no i am not here to save the fuckin planet. just wanted to spread some cheer. which i am having a hard time myself finding. but i am still looking.

peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

well it has been some time since i have been on here. sorry fans. i have been doing good. not great, but good. this month is or was zoe's bday month. she would have been 37 on the 19th. i will put some flowers into the ocean for her. i need to send some cash up north for some flowers on her grave. i need to def. do that. i miss her still but the tears are less often. i cried or started to in the store the other day. over strawberry shortcakes. there is this strawberry festival down here this month. it is huge or so they say.

still not seeing any one. i had my 3rd date from the personals last week. and again i got this note from her later that night about sorry we did not find love, good luck on your quest. i wuz like, i was not looking for love on the first date. so be it. her loss.

i usually go out on thursday nite for ladies nite. but not tonite. not in the mood to or something.

i am getting more and more leads in the sales. and i am hoping to get a flat screen monitor. since this monitor has been going out for over a year now. thinking about getting a camera and do some kayaking in the ocean. that would be cool. go into the mangroves and take some nice black and whites. i saw ansel adams pictures last weekend. going to see monet this weekend. trying to expand my horizon. mite even run some leads this weekend. i need to do that.

well i am outta here. i am doing not too bad. i did get my results back recently. not sure i wrote anything about that. my tcells are down to 261 from 385 or so. and my viral load is now at 6100 after being under 50 for the last 3 years or so. it was in 2000 when i was interferon only and my viral load went up to 33000 or so. and that was after 8 months off drugs. so i will keep it up. no meds for like 9 months to get my lactic acidosis level down. it is coming down. from 20 to 14. and the usual or normal range is 3-12mm. well gtg sport fans. i will try to check in more often. love and peace to all. miquel gomez.

i am back. i am getting better and better, or should i say stronger and stronger with each passing day. i still miss my wife. but for that matter i miss the touch of her skin. i almost crave human touch. not so human, but woman touch. their scent and their taste. to be in that atomosphere again. i walk by women out or so, and take in their scent. i am doomed.

but i am getting stronger. today i got a note from miss j. and i wrote her last week. so it was good to get a response.

as for dates. well let me put it this way. rome was not built in 1 day... or wuz it? i always forget that answer. lol.

i crack myself up. lol. i am playing with the idea of going up north one more time to get my shit. i am aiming to go there maybe next month, towards the end of march. who knows.

i have been emailing this girl in russia. i think she is fraud. but who knows. she has not rightly, yet, anway and ask me for money. i am just waiting. she is talkin about coming for a visit soon. ouch. and i mean ouch. i will let you all know how far that goes. lol.

other than that i have been getting dates with soccer moms. lol. old soccer moms at that. lol. made my age limits on yahoo a lot lower, like 42 or so. maybe that will weed out the old ladies. maybe i am asking for 2 much. i am after all 40. when i mentioned green day to this woman last week, she was like UGH!!!!!! lol. again i crack myself up.

i was at the bar last weekend and was looking to talk to this one young lady there. well this other 1 came up with bleach blonde hair, but it was cut like a buzz. instantly i thought it that cindy lauper? and said that to this young lady. she looked at me like i had 3 heads, and said "i don't know"?!!! (with the look in her eye, you fuckin freak!!!)

but today i realized that that lady was probably way, i mean way too young to even know cindy lauper. i instantly got out the wheelchair to wheel myself home. lol. and back to the home. lol.

well i got a new name this week for me. my new name is now, miquel gomez. hope ya like it. peace and love to all. miquel.

1 more thing i hate today. people that do not compromise. when people upset you, or hurt you, you should get over it at some point. unless the offense is like they killed your mother/dad or they have cut off your arm or leg. they upset you or hurt you in the past. that is why it is called the past. it happened in the past, now get over it. again i remain humbly, the rev. vernon.

1 more thing i hate today. people that do not compromise. when people upset you, or hurt you, you should get over it at some point. unless the offense is like they killed your mother/dad or they have cut off your arm or leg. they upset you or hurt you in the past. that is why it is called the past. it happened in the past, now get over it. again i remain humbly, the rev. vernon.

well here i sit in my underwear drinking beer and watching ncaa basketball. it truly is the demise of the american way. today on the news i heard that the FDA is going to be instituting a drug safety committee. is that an oxymoron or is it me? then the other highlight of tonight's visit from dan is that there are golf carts being made to look like real cars. and they cost in to the 20,000's dollar. is that not absurd or what. again is it me. ??? people that own them do not even play golf, they ride around in their gated community and claim to speak for the older people in this country. that is just fuckin amazin.

as for me. well i mentioned my mood in the first line. only thing missing from my nite is a box o chocolate. lol.

well i am still here and still disgusted at the way america is moving into the future. well that is just this reporter's insight. much peace and love to all. rev. vernon. i think i will have another beer

well i am back for now. it has been 2 weeks since my last confession. no i am sorry i am not talking to a priest. silly me. life has been going on. no women in scene yet. and i am working a lot. i selling about 2 or 3 roofs a week. and that is sweet money. i am also on the road a lot getting permits for the roofs. i just got done with flag football and now trying to get onto a softball team.. will be hanging out at the field looking for a team to get on. my health that is another issue. i have now been off therapy since the first of november. although my viral load has only got up to 6100 but my tcells have dropped to 261. that is down from 385. so i am happy about that. i see doc this week. will report in with that visit. still going out dancing. voted myself best male dancer in bradenton. lol. having some fun these days. still working out at the Y. and i did finally ask this cashier out at the permitting office. she is dating some one at the time. bummer. but this too shall work out. gtg for now. all of you all are in my thoughts. life is getting somewhat easier, but i still miss the zoester. well hello 1 0 in that frigid cold north. love you all. rev.vernon.

back from louisville. and it was a good trip. got to see zoe's stone at least 3 days while i was there. that is a big comfort for me. and me a one ho had a great time together. it was hard to leave her. but i had to get back to work and sell some more roofs this week. which i have been doing. today i was 2 out of 3 in sales. meaning 2 went my way. tomorrow i have 3 more appointments. yippeee. then tomorrow i am actually meeting some one out at the club. and it happens to be a lady. even more yippeee. we are meeting at 10pm to do some more dancing. i am looking forward to it. hopefully she will be there.

as for my health. who knows. i did give blood last month. i have not gotten the results yet. i might get some this week at my counselor. i see her tomorrow as well. i have been trying to not live by my numbers down here in florida. up north i lived and died by them. but i am trying to be more relaxed down here about them. i look fabulous and i feel fabulous. so the hell with what the numbers say.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well i made it to lousyville. and i am having so much fun. but it is bitter fuckin cold here. i need some palm trees now. lol. no time to do much except have some fun. flight in wuz even early. how good is that. well gtg. p/l to all. rev. vernon.

ok im back for a little bit. been driving miss ho wild. she can not wait until i get into town, me as well. hoping that it is a drier trip this time. maybe. i am looking forward to seeing the old stomping grounds again. again i will enter the city as a victorious king. that i am. lol. well i played my last football game tonite. i am now looking forward to softball in 2 weeks. they are doing a 7 man fball league. but these old bones can not do it. softball is so much less body contact. lol. then i have gotten some responses from american singles. the first lady i met, already sent me a dear mike letter. the very first lady i meet in person, in the flesh...and she sends me this note after 1 dinner date. her loss. too bad. well gtg. got some packin to do. love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

me again. i have been doing the american singles.com website. to no avail. i met 1 lady and 2 days later she gave me a dear john letter by email. what a laugh. after being on the internet for like 20 years or longer, being with the university and all. then there is this 1 hot senorita that put my messages on auto reject. that felt good. out of 90 emails i sent out. i have gotten like 3 good responses. and that is counting the one that sent me the dear j letter. well life does go on. i had dinner with the waitress friend of mine. and tonite she asks me to lunch. yummmy. she is yummy.. well i am off again. i will try to check in more often. life is swell. love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

hi 1 ho ...........luv ya. i do..!!!!

well it has been some time since i made an effort to log in here. sorry about that. i am doing much better, mentally that is. at least. i gave blood this week and that has been since october 26, 04. i have been off meds for that long as well. no HIV drugs that is. i curious to see what the results produce this week. i am also off to lousyville this week. flyin up for a 4 day weekend. i have been going out on weekends and dancing at the club in town. on other news fronts of mikeys' life. some have taken notice.

well off for now. gtg. peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

hello 1 ho....luv ya

well it is my big ole bday today. i am 40 today. and it was a doozy. i could not get zoe off my mind today. it was harder than xmas for some reason. she always went out of her way for my bday. no matter how poor we were. well then i am off to shellys house for the party. got my jaggermiester. so it will be a good evening. lol. i am also going into dunedin tomorrow for an art show. a certain lady is displaying her goods, in more ways than 1. lol. ooh nooo, i just realized that she is also would be a miss j. boohoo. but it is all good in the long run. she is also an artist. 2 whammy. anyway. new person, new reality. right. !!! no predisposed opinions about this 1. so gtg for now. rev. vern signing off. wonder if miss 1 ho is going out to dinner tonite w/pork? big shout out to miss 1 ho. who does not know yet, but i got my plane ticket today to go back to lousyville. c ya on the 27th of this month. yippeee. love and peace to all.

1 beautiful word..... prenuptials.....1 ho.....get that message....lol....

prenup


prenup


prenup



lololololo

lmao


lmao

lmao

WELL ME AGAIN. w/out shouting now. i will be 40 in less than an hour...ugh...!!!!!!!!!! but i had an awesome day in the roofing biz. 1 day mite have to tell about it. i am still doing alrite. missing my zoester. even as the bday fast slams down on me. ugh and lol. did not share with any one 2nite about my bday tomorrow. did get some jaiger for it. not even sure how to spell it. mite wake up with a shot. would that make a drunk or what. . ..... jaigger and an omlette for breakfast. lately i have missed zoe. like you would not know. it wuz not that bad over the holidays. i mean it never got crushingly bad. like it has the last 2 days or so. and again i can only attribute it to missing zoe. last year, again i was just getting over losing her. now it kind a like the bell was rung last year, but this year the refurbration of the bell is hitting the soul. and i mean deep soul matter. i miss her dearly. but she knows that, and hopefully would want me to get on with living my life. like again shawshank redemption.. .....getting busy living or get busy dying. i think i want to live, so here is to another 40 fuckin years on this earth. c ya....rev. vernon.

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

hello world. i have had pc problems over the holidays. but i got that fixed finally. and wanted to say hello. needed to say hello. well i survived another holiday period without zoe. it was better. i guess. there were ups and downs like we all have. but my heart is slowing mending. slowly. i am glad 04 is over with. now for 05. i turn 40 on the 14th. so look out world. almost ready for my AARP. lol. not really. maybe it is true what they say. life begins at 40...!!! stay tuned. love and peace to all who may read these pages. rev. vernon.