well it must be my monthly check in time here. missing my wife tonight and as of late. the more i am alone now, it does not make missing her any less. i do think about her daily, at some point. i wonder if that will remain in the years to come. i come across her pictures in the drawers still. no more tears, just pangs in my heart for her touch and smell and just to hold her again and tell her i love her.

also missing my brother these days. he would love me living in florida. i think he might have joined me down here. who knows. it could have been me that died in maybe a car accident and he could be living down here. but it is just me. my heart does ache. i keep busy and i am not on the couch or laying in bed crying for days. just get these moments during the day when i think of those 2 people in my life.

i want them to know that i love them and miss them.


on other news. i am still doing well. i paid off my cruise for this october. yippee. so i am going cruisin this fall. finally. my first one. it is a group of poz of people. i might even meet some one on the ship. i am kind of living for that moment. i will keep you all posted.

i am still at the gym and have now increased my running to 3 miles on the days between the gym. i am working on my cruise bod. lol. trying to get my belly down. that would be nice.

well wanted to vent my feelings on here.

much peace and love to all out there. capt. cosmos