i am back. i am getting better and better, or should i say stronger and stronger with each passing day. i still miss my wife. but for that matter i miss the touch of her skin. i almost crave human touch. not so human, but woman touch. their scent and their taste. to be in that atomosphere again. i walk by women out or so, and take in their scent. i am doomed.

but i am getting stronger. today i got a note from miss j. and i wrote her last week. so it was good to get a response.

as for dates. well let me put it this way. rome was not built in 1 day... or wuz it? i always forget that answer. lol.

i crack myself up. lol. i am playing with the idea of going up north one more time to get my shit. i am aiming to go there maybe next month, towards the end of march. who knows.

i have been emailing this girl in russia. i think she is fraud. but who knows. she has not rightly, yet, anway and ask me for money. i am just waiting. she is talkin about coming for a visit soon. ouch. and i mean ouch. i will let you all know how far that goes. lol.

other than that i have been getting dates with soccer moms. lol. old soccer moms at that. lol. made my age limits on yahoo a lot lower, like 42 or so. maybe that will weed out the old ladies. maybe i am asking for 2 much. i am after all 40. when i mentioned green day to this woman last week, she was like UGH!!!!!! lol. again i crack myself up.

i was at the bar last weekend and was looking to talk to this one young lady there. well this other 1 came up with bleach blonde hair, but it was cut like a buzz. instantly i thought it that cindy lauper? and said that to this young lady. she looked at me like i had 3 heads, and said "i don't know"?!!! (with the look in her eye, you fuckin freak!!!)

but today i realized that that lady was probably way, i mean way too young to even know cindy lauper. i instantly got out the wheelchair to wheel myself home. lol. and back to the home. lol.

well i got a new name this week for me. my new name is now, miquel gomez. hope ya like it. peace and love to all. miquel.

1 more thing i hate today. people that do not compromise. when people upset you, or hurt you, you should get over it at some point. unless the offense is like they killed your mother/dad or they have cut off your arm or leg. they upset you or hurt you in the past. that is why it is called the past. it happened in the past, now get over it. again i remain humbly, the rev. vernon.

1 more thing i hate today. people that do not compromise. when people upset you, or hurt you, you should get over it at some point. unless the offense is like they killed your mother/dad or they have cut off your arm or leg. they upset you or hurt you in the past. that is why it is called the past. it happened in the past, now get over it. again i remain humbly, the rev. vernon.

well here i sit in my underwear drinking beer and watching ncaa basketball. it truly is the demise of the american way. today on the news i heard that the FDA is going to be instituting a drug safety committee. is that an oxymoron or is it me? then the other highlight of tonight's visit from dan is that there are golf carts being made to look like real cars. and they cost in to the 20,000's dollar. is that not absurd or what. again is it me. ??? people that own them do not even play golf, they ride around in their gated community and claim to speak for the older people in this country. that is just fuckin amazin.

as for me. well i mentioned my mood in the first line. only thing missing from my nite is a box o chocolate. lol.

well i am still here and still disgusted at the way america is moving into the future. well that is just this reporter's insight. much peace and love to all. rev. vernon. i think i will have another beer

well i am back for now. it has been 2 weeks since my last confession. no i am sorry i am not talking to a priest. silly me. life has been going on. no women in scene yet. and i am working a lot. i selling about 2 or 3 roofs a week. and that is sweet money. i am also on the road a lot getting permits for the roofs. i just got done with flag football and now trying to get onto a softball team.. will be hanging out at the field looking for a team to get on. my health that is another issue. i have now been off therapy since the first of november. although my viral load has only got up to 6100 but my tcells have dropped to 261. that is down from 385. so i am happy about that. i see doc this week. will report in with that visit. still going out dancing. voted myself best male dancer in bradenton. lol. having some fun these days. still working out at the Y. and i did finally ask this cashier out at the permitting office. she is dating some one at the time. bummer. but this too shall work out. gtg for now. all of you all are in my thoughts. life is getting somewhat easier, but i still miss the zoester. well hello 1 0 in that frigid cold north. love you all. rev.vernon.

back from louisville. and it was a good trip. got to see zoe's stone at least 3 days while i was there. that is a big comfort for me. and me a one ho had a great time together. it was hard to leave her. but i had to get back to work and sell some more roofs this week. which i have been doing. today i was 2 out of 3 in sales. meaning 2 went my way. tomorrow i have 3 more appointments. yippeee. then tomorrow i am actually meeting some one out at the club. and it happens to be a lady. even more yippeee. we are meeting at 10pm to do some more dancing. i am looking forward to it. hopefully she will be there.

as for my health. who knows. i did give blood last month. i have not gotten the results yet. i might get some this week at my counselor. i see her tomorrow as well. i have been trying to not live by my numbers down here in florida. up north i lived and died by them. but i am trying to be more relaxed down here about them. i look fabulous and i feel fabulous. so the hell with what the numbers say.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well i made it to lousyville. and i am having so much fun. but it is bitter fuckin cold here. i need some palm trees now. lol. no time to do much except have some fun. flight in wuz even early. how good is that. well gtg. p/l to all. rev. vernon.

ok im back for a little bit. been driving miss ho wild. she can not wait until i get into town, me as well. hoping that it is a drier trip this time. maybe. i am looking forward to seeing the old stomping grounds again. again i will enter the city as a victorious king. that i am. lol. well i played my last football game tonite. i am now looking forward to softball in 2 weeks. they are doing a 7 man fball league. but these old bones can not do it. softball is so much less body contact. lol. then i have gotten some responses from american singles. the first lady i met, already sent me a dear mike letter. the very first lady i meet in person, in the flesh...and she sends me this note after 1 dinner date. her loss. too bad. well gtg. got some packin to do. love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

me again. i have been doing the american singles.com website. to no avail. i met 1 lady and 2 days later she gave me a dear john letter by email. what a laugh. after being on the internet for like 20 years or longer, being with the university and all. then there is this 1 hot senorita that put my messages on auto reject. that felt good. out of 90 emails i sent out. i have gotten like 3 good responses. and that is counting the one that sent me the dear j letter. well life does go on. i had dinner with the waitress friend of mine. and tonite she asks me to lunch. yummmy. she is yummy.. well i am off again. i will try to check in more often. life is swell. love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

hi 1 ho ...........luv ya. i do..!!!!

well it has been some time since i made an effort to log in here. sorry about that. i am doing much better, mentally that is. at least. i gave blood this week and that has been since october 26, 04. i have been off meds for that long as well. no HIV drugs that is. i curious to see what the results produce this week. i am also off to lousyville this week. flyin up for a 4 day weekend. i have been going out on weekends and dancing at the club in town. on other news fronts of mikeys' life. some have taken notice.

well off for now. gtg. peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

hello 1 ho....luv ya

well it is my big ole bday today. i am 40 today. and it was a doozy. i could not get zoe off my mind today. it was harder than xmas for some reason. she always went out of her way for my bday. no matter how poor we were. well then i am off to shellys house for the party. got my jaggermiester. so it will be a good evening. lol. i am also going into dunedin tomorrow for an art show. a certain lady is displaying her goods, in more ways than 1. lol. ooh nooo, i just realized that she is also would be a miss j. boohoo. but it is all good in the long run. she is also an artist. 2 whammy. anyway. new person, new reality. right. !!! no predisposed opinions about this 1. so gtg for now. rev. vern signing off. wonder if miss 1 ho is going out to dinner tonite w/pork? big shout out to miss 1 ho. who does not know yet, but i got my plane ticket today to go back to lousyville. c ya on the 27th of this month. yippeee. love and peace to all.

1 beautiful word..... prenuptials.....1 ho.....get that message....lol....

prenup


prenup


prenup



lololololo

lmao


lmao

lmao

WELL ME AGAIN. w/out shouting now. i will be 40 in less than an hour...ugh...!!!!!!!!!! but i had an awesome day in the roofing biz. 1 day mite have to tell about it. i am still doing alrite. missing my zoester. even as the bday fast slams down on me. ugh and lol. did not share with any one 2nite about my bday tomorrow. did get some jaiger for it. not even sure how to spell it. mite wake up with a shot. would that make a drunk or what. . ..... jaigger and an omlette for breakfast. lately i have missed zoe. like you would not know. it wuz not that bad over the holidays. i mean it never got crushingly bad. like it has the last 2 days or so. and again i can only attribute it to missing zoe. last year, again i was just getting over losing her. now it kind a like the bell was rung last year, but this year the refurbration of the bell is hitting the soul. and i mean deep soul matter. i miss her dearly. but she knows that, and hopefully would want me to get on with living my life. like again shawshank redemption.. .....getting busy living or get busy dying. i think i want to live, so here is to another 40 fuckin years on this earth. c ya....rev. vernon.

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

yyyoooooooo 1 ho!!!!!! ya listening???? go 2 www.americansingles.com and put in zip code of 34205 and c if i cum up!!! hope ya like the pics. lol. 1 shout out to 1 hoooooooooo!!! c-ya. peace and love to all on this eve of my 40st bday. goddamn. can i say that. 40st. ask my bro in law if i have to have a prostate test from now on annually. he told me only if i am lucky to have a nice tall blonde german nurse. lol. well 1 ho. this chickola did write me back from st. pete on the site of the month. lol. all the hags on there look old, or the young white chicks give me no reponse, or even the instant rejection with the NEVER ANSWER THIS ASSHOLE'S EMAIL IN THE FUTURE. NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE TIME.........PLEASE DEAR GOD GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF MY EMAIL ACCOUNT. LOL. AND THEY WONDER WHY SOME GUYS ARE SHY....ME. C YA

hello world. i have had pc problems over the holidays. but i got that fixed finally. and wanted to say hello. needed to say hello. well i survived another holiday period without zoe. it was better. i guess. there were ups and downs like we all have. but my heart is slowing mending. slowly. i am glad 04 is over with. now for 05. i turn 40 on the 14th. so look out world. almost ready for my AARP. lol. not really. maybe it is true what they say. life begins at 40...!!! stay tuned. love and peace to all who may read these pages. rev. vernon.

for some reason or so, i have grown bored with this concept. not really, just tired of bitching. home alone again for the 2000ths time. what else is new. last night i probably had the worse nite of flag football that i will ever live through. i was beaten, not once, not twice, but 3 times for a TD. it sucked. i am hoping to do better next week. this was the week that i said no one will score on me for the rest of this season. funny, that did not last long. lol.

not much else is new. did meet a young lady tonight at the grocery store. yes. i have seen this species before at the gym. but i actually introduced myself to her, and i was not drunk. it was after work, and those are the most soberest moments of the day. lol.

that was after i went and had my session with my counselor. it always kinda depresses me to talk about my doom and gloom with her. but i survived and do not see her until after the xmas.

and the life cycle goes on.

well signing off for now. maybe i will be back sooner than last time.

i am off all HIV drugs still. saw the doctor this week, but she did not take any blood. so who knows what the fuck my blood work is doing. DOH??? she is some what a bonehead. and it is hard for me to put my faith into her like that. but i am. and not living for the numbers, or that shit right now. kinda taken it easy with my HIV chit. so stay tuned. peace and love, rev. vernon.

well it has been 4 days since checking in. and last time i do not think that i mentioned that it is now official. i have my florida license plate. got in world aids day, dec 1. mine of course ran out in november from KY. i can now take my own plate and hang it on the wall.

i will no doubt be staying in florida. it is the best option for me right now. i feel. miss j, in case you are wondering moved back, well she moved back to lousyville. and has been back there for about 2 weeks or so. if not longer. i have little if any communication with her. life does go on.

i am kinda missing my zoe as well these days. she has been gone for a year and i still talk to her. you know there are these 3 sand herons that i see a lot by the office. and they are all the time, 3, only. so today i named them for our fallen heros in cavehill. zoe, kevin, and jerry. man i miss those kids. i guess it is the holidays and all.

not much else going on. still hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit.

much peace and love to all. vernon.

hello folks. nice sunday morning down south here. not much happening today. i am off to church, yes church. did you hear the thunder ??? i am off to church due to the fact that they are having a memorial service for persons lost to AIDS. due to the world AIDS day this week. i am also going to pray for myself. and to give me strength to go on. i am alright today. just a little lonely, as usual. i am also off to the drum circle today. i am doing my best to get out of the house and to meet others. i woke up this morning, to sunshine as usual down here. had some coffee. and talked to the cavehill gang. i sure do miss them all. i am trying to forgive myself for helping zoe transcend this world to the other. you know she wanted to die at home. i just wished we had talked about it more. i know she is in a better place now. i am just hoping that the guilt i feel will lessen as the days go on.

i am still off hiv drugs and hope i am doing alright.

i started playing flag football this week and think i brusied my collar bone or something in my shoulder. maybe i am too old to play this rough sport. but i am getting out of the house and meeting people this way. and i am still going to the gym and think i have a softball team to play on this coming february. met this guy at the gym and his team needs a shortstop, which i play. and softball should be easier on my bones. lol.

well gotta go. life is getting better, or the burden that i carry is getting easier to carry.

much love and peace to all. rev. vernon.