hey i am back from new orleans again. had a wonderful time and met some wonderful people. i hope to be life long friends of these people. they were really nice and it was another thing to be in company of people who are going through the same thing as me. i am so used to being the token hetero in a group setting. to be in a setting where everyone was positive and hetero. it was just really nice experience.

on the other hand. i am supposed to be starting therapy soon. but the delivery service told me today that they are just planning on submitting my application today. i thought for sure that they would have done that since i was away. i had the visit from the delivery person last week. and today i talked to him and he mentions that they are just today submitting my app. i just think that is more BS from the system down here in FL. stay tuned. i was tired last night and came home a day earlier than plan. but it was raining and nasty in new orleans for monday. and i went back to work today, so it is all good.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon. captcosmos

night before new orleans again. i hope i behave myself. i am sure i will. i will be in mixed company, so i think i know how to handle myself. i am really looking forward to it. going to the art musuem first tomorrw. i get in too early to get into my room. i get in like 730am, but this is only at the airport.

anyway not too much else happening.

i think 1 ho is mad at me or so. i sent her a package and again i expressed my feelings.

no response.

peace and love to all. rev.vernon.

today i am writing with out the splint on my finger and it does not hurt that bad. real quick note to say or tell everyone that i got some blood work back tonite at my counselor appt. the geno type testing on my virus showed that my virus is still reactive to all types of meds on the market. i have been off therapy now since last october, 2004. and now it is may, or the bloodwork as dated may4, 2005. so that is good news. my virus is not a mutant. so far.

more blood results tomorrow. also see the finger doc. maybe he will tell me i am ok to take the splint off.

until then. peace and love to all. rev. vernon

me again. i am not getting ready to go out for ladies nite. so it must be thursday the 19th. next week i am off to see the hiv doc as well as the hand doc. hopefully i can take my splint. then i am going to new orleans again. this time for a 5 day weekend. lol.. love it.

i am not doing too bad. had some shingle leads this week, but no one signed. so oohwelll.


the weather down here is already hot like summer. they haved warned everyone about how gators are going matin this month, or starts it for the gators. so you mite see one whereever you are. lol. think about that miss 1 ho. lol. hey up there....

i see where the beatle party is this weekend i mean next weekend in lousyville. just when i move they bring in the beatles fair. well i will have to make the trip next year for it.

i am off to do some dancing again. maybe not too much. peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

1 week has past since my last post on here. what has been happening. well tomorrow nite i get to read my poem for zoe out loud to a group that is gathering for an AIDS poetry slam. i am kinda excited about it. will be interesting. my first open discussion down here about the A subject. i will let you all know how it goes.


as for me. well i still miss my girl. with the poem and all she has been on my mind. a lot lately, for some reason or naught.

and my finger is still broken, so typing is a drag. ....

did some betting over the weekend. i went to the track down here. what a world of difference from churchhill. for starters, the parking was FREE. dig it.

and i even won some races. only on the track up north, thou. i could not cash a ticket on the local track. nothing. but i had a good time. must be the angels up north that helped me get those horses. i went strictly with the name on them. and cashed a ticket all 3 races i was there.

then i am going back to new orleans for memorial day weekend.. going to be exciting. hopefully i will come back with my voice. lol. it is a bitch typing with my finger, ugh.

much pain.

well love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

xxxxoooo

i went to the doctor aboutmy voice, was hoping that it was not due to thrush or something. well it was a new doc, at least to me he was. and he took some blood and even did a genotype test on me. will let you all know what it comes back as.

he was concerned that i was not on meds right now. he said i should be back on them within a month, if not sooner.

well be good to each other. peace. rev. miquel.

still me. i am watching u2 concert from slane castle. so i need to get myself out of this stuck in a moment period. i am definelty going to watch my drinking when i go back to new orleans. i even got on 2 different stages to dance for the crowd. there was not a man in the place that could touch my moves. lol.

well i am off again. much peace and love to all out there. rev. miquel.

p.s. happy derby week.

made it back from new orleans. but my voice didn't. lol. you know that is a major sign of me having a good time. when i lose my voice. so i am not working much this week. trying to get it back. then when you do talk people ask me what? all the time. so i have to repeat myself.

well about the trip. we had a great time. saw dave matthews band in the rain again. have not seen dave with out the rain. well just my luck. we had fun anyway. spent like 100 dollars on rain gear, then it clears up. lol. truly.

well i am still nursing my little finger. not sure i mentioned it or not. but i broke it at the ultimate tournament. been like 2 weeks now.

i miss my zoe at new orleans. i was aware of her being gone. i almost felt guilty for having fun with out her. i am stuck in a moment as U2 would say.

i entered her poem into a poetry slam down here for AIDS and i am finalist. damn cool. going to keep her legacy going. i am going to take her book with her picture. hope i can make it through it. i think i can. since i gave a speech in her honor like 2 weeks after her funeral.


i have not seen my counselor again for like 3 weeks. i think i can tell. with my voice out and no one to talk too. not that they could hear me anyway, but i am almost a mute. my own isolated island. well better publish this before i lose it.

dear miss 1 HO. please marry me. maybe 1 day???????? please ..? soon to be the owner of a growing roofing biz in west central florida......miquel gomez

i've watched the children come and go....and by




i will try to sing a happy song, i will to make a happy game to play...


come and tell me what it is like to go outside,.... i have never been and i am not supposed like thiss.....but it is okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy


rev.vern.

well hello world. i am back with broken small finger and all. i am having to put the splint on after i shower. makes life interesting to say the least. trying not to use it much. lol. it has been little under 1 week and i have to keep it on for 4 weeks. ugh. the penalty for playing hard. i did recently get a new pc desk and also kitchen table. they both kinda match by being with glass top and like off grey base metal on both of them. still getting used to the fact that if i like something, i do not need to get approval of any one to bring it home. lol. i am off to new orleans this week. yippee. ican not wait. my sis and i are leaving this thursday thru monday. we are going for the jazz fest, but may only see that 1 day. we are going to have a great time first. big dave matthews is playing this saturday why we are there. so i know we are going to see him.

well my finger it is a hurtin

much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello all. this week i saw my doctor and she told me that if and when we restart therapy it will be some totally different. so we will see. i hate to think of getting back on that chemo train with drugs. anyway also this week i got my finger x-rayed and sure enough it is broken. i have this splint that i wear all day and nite. supposed to be on for like 4 fuckin weeks. ugh. no one at home to help with the task of getting it back on after i shower. so i wont be showering for 4 weeks. lol. and next week we are off to new orleans. and that will be great. going to the jazz fest down there, or up there as i am in florida.

then i am going back in may for memorial day weekend. i am going with a group of hetero positive. and there is only 2 men going. me being one of the 2. like those odds.


well i spent 4 hours in the ER for my finger yesterday. it was kinda hard when i left there. it hit me like a ton of bricks, thinking about the hours me and zoe spent at the ER. it was a different experience for sure. when they ask who to call in case of an emergency, i say call a doctor. lol. then i have no one to tell them. but i put my sis shelly down for contact. she acquired an older son when i moved down here.

well peace and love to all. rev.vern.

tonite i saw green day with my niece. we had a great time and she met some hot boyz. lol. we had a good time over all. she even did sum crowd surfing, much to my shagrine. but we both survive. and then i got home and was able to open the line of comm. to miss 1 ho. i am so happy about that. i really fucked thangs up last week. i did.....enuf said. feeling that we can get thru this. invited a stranger to go with me to see Dave again in july. i will keep my fingers crossed about that. much peace and love to all. my little finger is fucked, so it hurts to type. i am doing alrite. it is hard to beleive that i was so low last year that i wanted to snuff myself out. glad that plan did not go thru. peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

went down to catch the sunset tonite. it was the first time this season to see it once the clock has been set back. so now i have time to come and have some dinner and then go to the beach. tonite it went behind some clouds on the far horizon. of course. then went into the office for about 2 hours or so. lots and lots of paperwork. buried in it.

well love to all. miquel gomez

well hello world. not much more happening here. 1 ho came and went. it was a rocky end to a wonderful week. it was just kinda hectic to say the least. we enjoyed each others' company. but nothing happening, romantically there.

i did get interviewed for a POZ article, but i mite end up on the editing floor. we will see about that. i sent the reporter a link to my blog, maybe i can still get my book published with the story of zoe. hoping to be some inspiration to others in life. i have been through hell the last 2 years, but i am almost at the end of the darkness. still some more work to do. with my anniversary for my suicide attempt coming up next month. i year out and i feel i am at a much better place than before.

i am still going to the gym and working out with the weights. as i mentioned before or not, i go the gym and make love to the weights. lol.

gtg for now. i will be back soon. i hope all is well where this finds you. much peace and love, rev. vernon.

well where to begin with. i have been off of here for some time. i am doing well. i am working hard. and the big news, well let me see. my friend 1 ho came in town. she is actually still here. yippee. i will finally have a lady to take to lady nights on thursday night. if i can talk her into going. then i am off to new orleans this month for the jazz fest. and dave mathews will be playing that saturday night. fabulous. then i got tickets for green day next monday on the 18th and i got my ticket foir U2 in novmeber and also got tickets to dave matthews in tampa. i am going to be busy. planning on going back to new orleans next month with this group from miami. a hetero group has it's retreat in new orleans. so i signed up to go. i can not wait. going this month with my sister. and that too will be fun.

selling some roofs, but never enough.

then i get to be interviewed in POZ tomorrow for an upcoming article about treatment interruptions. soon be starting my autobiography. lol.

stay tuned. i promise to be back here soon. not going to make it back to louisville for derby this year. maybe next year.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello world. i am sitting here on sunday afternoon getting ready to go and watch the cards play bball. love this time of year. and i can only hope that cards win today. that would be nice. nice weather down here. sunshine and about 75 degrees. love it. i did not do much this weekend. stayed home sat. nite and watched bball all day. i did go out friday nite and shot some pool. still no love interest yet. not really worried about that now. thinking it would crimp my style if i got involved with anybody. i am doing well. today would have been mine and zoe's anniversary of the day we got together. it would have been 12 years today. seems like another life time ago. i did have a very nice close friend put some flowers down for her yesterday. yesterday would have been her bday. she would have been 37 yesterday. still not a day goes by that i do not think of her. i put some flowers into the ocean down here for her. but that hole in my heart is slowing closing up, or it getting easier to live with it. i still miss her and will always have her in my heart.

well peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

well here i am again. i had not too bad of a weekend. went out and drank friday nite and then i stayed home saturday nite, but went to the drum circle on sunday nite. not much else is going on. i highly recommend that everyone go out to dinner by themselves. and go to a busy place, like the outback. like i did this past friday nite. i had a good meal and of course i am used to be alone. so no big deal. you call a head for seating and they ask how many in your party? party of 1, please. lol. best story about going out alone is when i went to cracker barrel on sunday morning. i know busy as shit. well they sat me in the biggest room they had, then they proceeded to seat me in the middle of the damn room!!! well guess what lived. and i suggest everyone do this at least once in thier life. then you will think better of it when you curse at your kids or husband/wife when they are on your nerves. the world would be such a better place. and no i am not here to save the fuckin planet. just wanted to spread some cheer. which i am having a hard time myself finding. but i am still looking.

peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

well it has been some time since i have been on here. sorry fans. i have been doing good. not great, but good. this month is or was zoe's bday month. she would have been 37 on the 19th. i will put some flowers into the ocean for her. i need to send some cash up north for some flowers on her grave. i need to def. do that. i miss her still but the tears are less often. i cried or started to in the store the other day. over strawberry shortcakes. there is this strawberry festival down here this month. it is huge or so they say.

still not seeing any one. i had my 3rd date from the personals last week. and again i got this note from her later that night about sorry we did not find love, good luck on your quest. i wuz like, i was not looking for love on the first date. so be it. her loss.

i usually go out on thursday nite for ladies nite. but not tonite. not in the mood to or something.

i am getting more and more leads in the sales. and i am hoping to get a flat screen monitor. since this monitor has been going out for over a year now. thinking about getting a camera and do some kayaking in the ocean. that would be cool. go into the mangroves and take some nice black and whites. i saw ansel adams pictures last weekend. going to see monet this weekend. trying to expand my horizon. mite even run some leads this weekend. i need to do that.

well i am outta here. i am doing not too bad. i did get my results back recently. not sure i wrote anything about that. my tcells are down to 261 from 385 or so. and my viral load is now at 6100 after being under 50 for the last 3 years or so. it was in 2000 when i was interferon only and my viral load went up to 33000 or so. and that was after 8 months off drugs. so i will keep it up. no meds for like 9 months to get my lactic acidosis level down. it is coming down. from 20 to 14. and the usual or normal range is 3-12mm. well gtg sport fans. i will try to check in more often. love and peace to all. miquel gomez.

i am back. i am getting better and better, or should i say stronger and stronger with each passing day. i still miss my wife. but for that matter i miss the touch of her skin. i almost crave human touch. not so human, but woman touch. their scent and their taste. to be in that atomosphere again. i walk by women out or so, and take in their scent. i am doomed.

but i am getting stronger. today i got a note from miss j. and i wrote her last week. so it was good to get a response.

as for dates. well let me put it this way. rome was not built in 1 day... or wuz it? i always forget that answer. lol.

i crack myself up. lol. i am playing with the idea of going up north one more time to get my shit. i am aiming to go there maybe next month, towards the end of march. who knows.

i have been emailing this girl in russia. i think she is fraud. but who knows. she has not rightly, yet, anway and ask me for money. i am just waiting. she is talkin about coming for a visit soon. ouch. and i mean ouch. i will let you all know how far that goes. lol.

other than that i have been getting dates with soccer moms. lol. old soccer moms at that. lol. made my age limits on yahoo a lot lower, like 42 or so. maybe that will weed out the old ladies. maybe i am asking for 2 much. i am after all 40. when i mentioned green day to this woman last week, she was like UGH!!!!!! lol. again i crack myself up.

i was at the bar last weekend and was looking to talk to this one young lady there. well this other 1 came up with bleach blonde hair, but it was cut like a buzz. instantly i thought it that cindy lauper? and said that to this young lady. she looked at me like i had 3 heads, and said "i don't know"?!!! (with the look in her eye, you fuckin freak!!!)

but today i realized that that lady was probably way, i mean way too young to even know cindy lauper. i instantly got out the wheelchair to wheel myself home. lol. and back to the home. lol.

well i got a new name this week for me. my new name is now, miquel gomez. hope ya like it. peace and love to all. miquel.