well it has been like 2 weeks since i have been on here. not much is happening. i see doc next week on the 28th, still off meds...will see what she says next week. then i am off to lousyville next thursday to get my shit out of storage finally. i am taking my niece up there with me. we will have a great time. and see some of the fine folks that are still living there.

it is the rainy season down here and you can set your watch by it. also my friends are here from lousyville and we are off to deep sea fishing next week. i think. if i can stomach it. i am a major chummer when i get out on the water.

well today val was in the paper. she is way too beautiful. wish she would look my way. well i am not giving up. she was interviewed for HIV testing day. that day is on monday, so get the test and know your results. not much else is happening. i am making it down here and seem to be a little more at ease with living down here. i have my routine. i go to work then off to the gym and this being thursday that can only mean 1 thing. ladies night. so i will be going out tonight to do some dancing.

well much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

i did not realize i have been off of here for about 2 weeks now. well not much to report on down here. i almost went back on therapy this week. but changed my mind to until i see my regular doctor. she has me giving blood this month and then seeing her next month, late. i got into the home delivery of meds for persons like me on disability. and they delivered them last night out of the blue. but they were prescribed by another doc i saw breifly when my voice was not working. i think i mentioned this or so. well i thought that i will continue to see my female doc. doc sue. i feel fine and did not want to start chemo at this point in time. so i am going to see what my blood says and see what she has to say. i my lactic acidosis levels were still a little elevated. something the male doc did not take into account, i think. they were at 14mm last time, but this time they went up to 16mm and that is off therapy. so i do not want to pollute my body just yet.

today i am off to meet with the local yahoo singles group. we are meeting to play some pool here. first time i have made contact with them, or met them out. nice day, kinda windy due to hurricane that was out in the gulf. we just got a lot of rain. good for the roofing business though.

other than that...my best of bestest friend is coming into town next weekend. so i will have some to hang out with. no way...how will i act....lol

well i can not wait, we will have some fun at seista key.

much peace and love to all out there. capt. vernon signing.

hey i am back from new orleans again. had a wonderful time and met some wonderful people. i hope to be life long friends of these people. they were really nice and it was another thing to be in company of people who are going through the same thing as me. i am so used to being the token hetero in a group setting. to be in a setting where everyone was positive and hetero. it was just really nice experience.

on the other hand. i am supposed to be starting therapy soon. but the delivery service told me today that they are just planning on submitting my application today. i thought for sure that they would have done that since i was away. i had the visit from the delivery person last week. and today i talked to him and he mentions that they are just today submitting my app. i just think that is more BS from the system down here in FL. stay tuned. i was tired last night and came home a day earlier than plan. but it was raining and nasty in new orleans for monday. and i went back to work today, so it is all good.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon. captcosmos

night before new orleans again. i hope i behave myself. i am sure i will. i will be in mixed company, so i think i know how to handle myself. i am really looking forward to it. going to the art musuem first tomorrw. i get in too early to get into my room. i get in like 730am, but this is only at the airport.

anyway not too much else happening.

i think 1 ho is mad at me or so. i sent her a package and again i expressed my feelings.

no response.

peace and love to all. rev.vernon.

today i am writing with out the splint on my finger and it does not hurt that bad. real quick note to say or tell everyone that i got some blood work back tonite at my counselor appt. the geno type testing on my virus showed that my virus is still reactive to all types of meds on the market. i have been off therapy now since last october, 2004. and now it is may, or the bloodwork as dated may4, 2005. so that is good news. my virus is not a mutant. so far.

more blood results tomorrow. also see the finger doc. maybe he will tell me i am ok to take the splint off.

until then. peace and love to all. rev. vernon

me again. i am not getting ready to go out for ladies nite. so it must be thursday the 19th. next week i am off to see the hiv doc as well as the hand doc. hopefully i can take my splint. then i am going to new orleans again. this time for a 5 day weekend. lol.. love it.

i am not doing too bad. had some shingle leads this week, but no one signed. so oohwelll.


the weather down here is already hot like summer. they haved warned everyone about how gators are going matin this month, or starts it for the gators. so you mite see one whereever you are. lol. think about that miss 1 ho. lol. hey up there....

i see where the beatle party is this weekend i mean next weekend in lousyville. just when i move they bring in the beatles fair. well i will have to make the trip next year for it.

i am off to do some dancing again. maybe not too much. peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

1 week has past since my last post on here. what has been happening. well tomorrow nite i get to read my poem for zoe out loud to a group that is gathering for an AIDS poetry slam. i am kinda excited about it. will be interesting. my first open discussion down here about the A subject. i will let you all know how it goes.


as for me. well i still miss my girl. with the poem and all she has been on my mind. a lot lately, for some reason or naught.

and my finger is still broken, so typing is a drag. ....

did some betting over the weekend. i went to the track down here. what a world of difference from churchhill. for starters, the parking was FREE. dig it.

and i even won some races. only on the track up north, thou. i could not cash a ticket on the local track. nothing. but i had a good time. must be the angels up north that helped me get those horses. i went strictly with the name on them. and cashed a ticket all 3 races i was there.

then i am going back to new orleans for memorial day weekend.. going to be exciting. hopefully i will come back with my voice. lol. it is a bitch typing with my finger, ugh.

much pain.

well love and peace to all. rev. vernon.

xxxxoooo

i went to the doctor aboutmy voice, was hoping that it was not due to thrush or something. well it was a new doc, at least to me he was. and he took some blood and even did a genotype test on me. will let you all know what it comes back as.

he was concerned that i was not on meds right now. he said i should be back on them within a month, if not sooner.

well be good to each other. peace. rev. miquel.

still me. i am watching u2 concert from slane castle. so i need to get myself out of this stuck in a moment period. i am definelty going to watch my drinking when i go back to new orleans. i even got on 2 different stages to dance for the crowd. there was not a man in the place that could touch my moves. lol.

well i am off again. much peace and love to all out there. rev. miquel.

p.s. happy derby week.

made it back from new orleans. but my voice didn't. lol. you know that is a major sign of me having a good time. when i lose my voice. so i am not working much this week. trying to get it back. then when you do talk people ask me what? all the time. so i have to repeat myself.

well about the trip. we had a great time. saw dave matthews band in the rain again. have not seen dave with out the rain. well just my luck. we had fun anyway. spent like 100 dollars on rain gear, then it clears up. lol. truly.

well i am still nursing my little finger. not sure i mentioned it or not. but i broke it at the ultimate tournament. been like 2 weeks now.

i miss my zoe at new orleans. i was aware of her being gone. i almost felt guilty for having fun with out her. i am stuck in a moment as U2 would say.

i entered her poem into a poetry slam down here for AIDS and i am finalist. damn cool. going to keep her legacy going. i am going to take her book with her picture. hope i can make it through it. i think i can. since i gave a speech in her honor like 2 weeks after her funeral.


i have not seen my counselor again for like 3 weeks. i think i can tell. with my voice out and no one to talk too. not that they could hear me anyway, but i am almost a mute. my own isolated island. well better publish this before i lose it.

dear miss 1 HO. please marry me. maybe 1 day???????? please ..? soon to be the owner of a growing roofing biz in west central florida......miquel gomez

i've watched the children come and go....and by




i will try to sing a happy song, i will to make a happy game to play...


come and tell me what it is like to go outside,.... i have never been and i am not supposed like thiss.....but it is okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy


rev.vern.

well hello world. i am back with broken small finger and all. i am having to put the splint on after i shower. makes life interesting to say the least. trying not to use it much. lol. it has been little under 1 week and i have to keep it on for 4 weeks. ugh. the penalty for playing hard. i did recently get a new pc desk and also kitchen table. they both kinda match by being with glass top and like off grey base metal on both of them. still getting used to the fact that if i like something, i do not need to get approval of any one to bring it home. lol. i am off to new orleans this week. yippee. ican not wait. my sis and i are leaving this thursday thru monday. we are going for the jazz fest, but may only see that 1 day. we are going to have a great time first. big dave matthews is playing this saturday why we are there. so i know we are going to see him.

well my finger it is a hurtin

much peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello all. this week i saw my doctor and she told me that if and when we restart therapy it will be some totally different. so we will see. i hate to think of getting back on that chemo train with drugs. anyway also this week i got my finger x-rayed and sure enough it is broken. i have this splint that i wear all day and nite. supposed to be on for like 4 fuckin weeks. ugh. no one at home to help with the task of getting it back on after i shower. so i wont be showering for 4 weeks. lol. and next week we are off to new orleans. and that will be great. going to the jazz fest down there, or up there as i am in florida.

then i am going back in may for memorial day weekend. i am going with a group of hetero positive. and there is only 2 men going. me being one of the 2. like those odds.


well i spent 4 hours in the ER for my finger yesterday. it was kinda hard when i left there. it hit me like a ton of bricks, thinking about the hours me and zoe spent at the ER. it was a different experience for sure. when they ask who to call in case of an emergency, i say call a doctor. lol. then i have no one to tell them. but i put my sis shelly down for contact. she acquired an older son when i moved down here.

well peace and love to all. rev.vern.

tonite i saw green day with my niece. we had a great time and she met some hot boyz. lol. we had a good time over all. she even did sum crowd surfing, much to my shagrine. but we both survive. and then i got home and was able to open the line of comm. to miss 1 ho. i am so happy about that. i really fucked thangs up last week. i did.....enuf said. feeling that we can get thru this. invited a stranger to go with me to see Dave again in july. i will keep my fingers crossed about that. much peace and love to all. my little finger is fucked, so it hurts to type. i am doing alrite. it is hard to beleive that i was so low last year that i wanted to snuff myself out. glad that plan did not go thru. peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

went down to catch the sunset tonite. it was the first time this season to see it once the clock has been set back. so now i have time to come and have some dinner and then go to the beach. tonite it went behind some clouds on the far horizon. of course. then went into the office for about 2 hours or so. lots and lots of paperwork. buried in it.

well love to all. miquel gomez

well hello world. not much more happening here. 1 ho came and went. it was a rocky end to a wonderful week. it was just kinda hectic to say the least. we enjoyed each others' company. but nothing happening, romantically there.

i did get interviewed for a POZ article, but i mite end up on the editing floor. we will see about that. i sent the reporter a link to my blog, maybe i can still get my book published with the story of zoe. hoping to be some inspiration to others in life. i have been through hell the last 2 years, but i am almost at the end of the darkness. still some more work to do. with my anniversary for my suicide attempt coming up next month. i year out and i feel i am at a much better place than before.

i am still going to the gym and working out with the weights. as i mentioned before or not, i go the gym and make love to the weights. lol.

gtg for now. i will be back soon. i hope all is well where this finds you. much peace and love, rev. vernon.

well where to begin with. i have been off of here for some time. i am doing well. i am working hard. and the big news, well let me see. my friend 1 ho came in town. she is actually still here. yippee. i will finally have a lady to take to lady nights on thursday night. if i can talk her into going. then i am off to new orleans this month for the jazz fest. and dave mathews will be playing that saturday night. fabulous. then i got tickets for green day next monday on the 18th and i got my ticket foir U2 in novmeber and also got tickets to dave matthews in tampa. i am going to be busy. planning on going back to new orleans next month with this group from miami. a hetero group has it's retreat in new orleans. so i signed up to go. i can not wait. going this month with my sister. and that too will be fun.

selling some roofs, but never enough.

then i get to be interviewed in POZ tomorrow for an upcoming article about treatment interruptions. soon be starting my autobiography. lol.

stay tuned. i promise to be back here soon. not going to make it back to louisville for derby this year. maybe next year.

well peace and love to all. rev. vernon.

well hello world. i am sitting here on sunday afternoon getting ready to go and watch the cards play bball. love this time of year. and i can only hope that cards win today. that would be nice. nice weather down here. sunshine and about 75 degrees. love it. i did not do much this weekend. stayed home sat. nite and watched bball all day. i did go out friday nite and shot some pool. still no love interest yet. not really worried about that now. thinking it would crimp my style if i got involved with anybody. i am doing well. today would have been mine and zoe's anniversary of the day we got together. it would have been 12 years today. seems like another life time ago. i did have a very nice close friend put some flowers down for her yesterday. yesterday would have been her bday. she would have been 37 yesterday. still not a day goes by that i do not think of her. i put some flowers into the ocean down here for her. but that hole in my heart is slowing closing up, or it getting easier to live with it. i still miss her and will always have her in my heart.

well peace and love to all. miquel gomez.

well here i am again. i had not too bad of a weekend. went out and drank friday nite and then i stayed home saturday nite, but went to the drum circle on sunday nite. not much else is going on. i highly recommend that everyone go out to dinner by themselves. and go to a busy place, like the outback. like i did this past friday nite. i had a good meal and of course i am used to be alone. so no big deal. you call a head for seating and they ask how many in your party? party of 1, please. lol. best story about going out alone is when i went to cracker barrel on sunday morning. i know busy as shit. well they sat me in the biggest room they had, then they proceeded to seat me in the middle of the damn room!!! well guess what lived. and i suggest everyone do this at least once in thier life. then you will think better of it when you curse at your kids or husband/wife when they are on your nerves. the world would be such a better place. and no i am not here to save the fuckin planet. just wanted to spread some cheer. which i am having a hard time myself finding. but i am still looking.

peace and love to all. miquel gomez.